And quiet.
This, my friends, is the newest member of the family. Dinosaur.
Dinosaur joined our family on December 25, 2008. He was given to Jack. At that time, his neck was nice and straight, but due to excessive love and travelling, he is a little limp. (Seriously, this guy has been everywhere. I am thinking of honoring him in his own book titled, "Where's Dinosaur?" I don't think I have taken a picture of Jack in the last 3 months without dinosaur being somewhere in the picture.)
Let me explain Dinosaur's critical role in the family. He has, with amazing skill, relieved large amounts of "Mom stress" (great word Janet) in my life.
Here's the scenario.
Me: "Come on Jack, you have to get dressed, we have to take Brooklyn to school."
Jack: "No, I don't want to get dressed."
Me: "Jack, please come and get dressed - you can't go outside naked."
Jack: "No." Ha ha ha - running away...
Me: "Come on Jack - I will give you 43 marshmallows if you will just please, get dressed."
Jack: "No."
Me: Tackling him, pinning his head with my feet, and breathing like I just ran a mile, I successfully get a new diaper on him.
Jack: removes the diaper.
Me: In my most pleasant voice, "Ok, Dinosaur! Will you come and get dressed? We need to take Brooklyn to school."
Dinosaur: "Of course, I would love to come and be an extremely cooperative dinosaur. Let me ask Jack if he will bring me to you."
Me: "Wow - what a good boy you are dinosaur! Here's your new diaper. (Yes, I diapered the dinosaur....and things with tails should never be diapered.) "Good boy." Now let's put on your shirt."
"Wait a minute dinosaur, this shirt doesn't fit you."
Jack: "Mom, that shirt is too big for dinosaur. That shirt is big for Jack."
Me: "By George you're right. Would you like to try it on?"
Jack: "Yes Mom, I want to get dressed like Dinosaur."
TA DA
Seriously people, it's ridiculous, I know, but I really do this. With the shirt. And the pants. And the shoes. And the toothbrush. And the comb.
Yes, it takes lots of extra time, but hey, it works.
Right now you may be thinking, wow, what a lunatic. No wonder her kids are crazy. But, I am here to testify that this dear, dear dinosaur has caused a permanent attitude shift in my darling 2 year old. Dinosaur does still have to be present for all "activities," but he will now do most without a 15 minute dinosaur dialogue.
If I'd only known.
I wonder what it would take to potty train Dinosaur...
8 comments:
Where can I get one of yhose dinosaurs? I think I am going to need one!
Dinosaur may love the potty! You are an awesome mom. I would never think of that I would just yell and make things worse. 2 points for Mom and one for dino too!
I love your posts. Seriously, you tell it like it is! Sometimes you have to diaper your children's toys in order to survive. Chloe has a baby doll and most nights to get Chloe to go to bed, I have to threaten with "Okay, then, I guess baby gets to go to bed and Chloe has to stay downstairs all by herself!" to which mischeivous giggles are replaced with a wailing "NOOO!". :-)
I love it. we have baby bear and he's a help to us. You're not insane and you are not alone. Good luck with the potty training thing. Having been through it witha boy already I will say this, wait till he's ready and teach him to sit. Bowen boy's aren't super tall and most public toilets don't accomidate shorties. Good luck!
I bribe with marshmallows too and still haven't seemed to learn the lesson that it comes back to bite you in the behind since they cause instant hyperactivity! Desperation seems to block you from learning those kinds of lessons.
Kira, you're too funny!!! Hey if it works...I say you use it! Great story! Thanks for sharing it!
Great job, Kira! That's some great creativity!
I LOVE bribery! I think it is a key role in a mothers life! I bribe with anything and everything I can think of or get my hands on. My favorite was a bribe from the "binkie fairy" to get rid of binkies, and she followed through with her toy in return! Worked wonders!
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