3 hours of Christmas shopping with 3 small children

2 Christmas gifts: $50

Un-planned purchases (1 bag of gummi worms and 3 frosty's): $5.10

Standing in a long line with 3 bored and tired children: priceless

Someone please remind me not to do that again.

Anyone want to come over for dinner?

picture from here

I think I am starting to develop a complex. 

Here is a sampling of Jack's every prayer.

"Please bless our food that it will be safe and healthy

for our bodies."  

What exactly is he saying about my cooking?

Nevermind.  I'd rather not know.

But, consider this a fair warning if you are ever invited over for dinner.

You could be risking your life...

Problems

I think there are a few things wrong with the world.  Surprise, Surprise.  I am not talking about the political climate, or the climate in general.  I am talking about the modern child and parent.  I think there are some serious problems going on here.  Let me explain a few of my observations and you tell me what you think.

I volunteer in Brooklyn's classroom every Monday.  During this time spent with 20 five year olds, I have noticed a few things that I find slightly concerning.
*  Does anyone else think that acryllic nails on a 5 year old is going a little far?
*  How about a 5 year old walking into the classroom sipping away on her own Starbuck's cup?  (I realize that it was likely hot chocolate, but still.)
*  Or the boy who told the class that he smoked a cigarette?
*  Oh, how about a 5 year old telling everyone that she saw the Jonas Brothers in concert?
*  And how the Jonas Brother's are really rich.
*  And then recited many of their songs to me while she was doing her art project.
*  And how she hoped her mom remembered to bring her iPod when she picked her up.

Next thing I know, they'll be coming in with cell phones and highlights.

Is my child really that odd because she loves hopscotch and My Little Pony? ...just wondering... 

Budget Christmas Gifts

Due to budget cuts we have decided to do Christmas for our kids for under $1 each.  The best part is that these gifts will surely bring pure joy to their hearts.

Brooklyn

A roll of tape. 

I mean, look what kind of magic she unleashed in the boy's room.  I'd really like her to help me decorate the rest of the house.  Such talent.  Maybe I'll get her a 2-pack.

Jack

A roll of toilet paper to unroll without getting into trouble

I wonder if he'll still enjoy it if he doesn't get to watch the veins pop out in my neck?

Bradley

A couple of batteries. 

It must stink to be the 3rd child.  All the batteries in the cool toys have long since died.  He'd really be shocked to discover that nearly all of our toys actually light up, sing, or just make noise in general. 

How exciting.

New Skills

There are some new skills emerging at my house.

Brooklyn (and apparently Bradley) is now slaving away in an attempt to help her poor mother.  At 5 years old, she's old enough to load the dishwasher, right?

She is also learning to read - I am amazed at how quickly she is picking it up.

Bradley has learned the art of irritating his brother and sister by turning off the TV right in the middle of Frosty the Snowman.

He has also decided that it is absolutely unacceptable that I feed him.  He MUST feed himself.

Oh, and just as I thought I would get out of having a climber, I have repeatedly found him sitting in the middle of the kitchen table.

Jack has a defined perimeter of what is strictly his playing area.  Bradley, however, doesn't seem to understand why he can't squinch in and play.  As a result, Jack has discovered many new and highly effective ways to remove Bradley from that perimeter.

He also has decided that I have no taste in clothes (which is likely correct) so he must pick out his own.  My only problem is that he has no concept of WINTER or tags.  Shorts and his shirt on backwards. Nice.

Jack has also discovered the magic of scissors.  In the name of fine motor skills development...I will endure.  Maybe I should teach him how to use a broom...

For the record, I have not acquired any new skills of my own.  Unless of course, you count planning ways to have the kids do more of my housework or skillfully not making dinner on a Saturday night so that Dave will have to pick up Little Ceasars.

Come to think of it, I think those should definitely count.  I think I will start developing a few more.  Any ideas?