Once upon a time there was a family
who couldn't stop injuring themselves.
Week 1, day 1:
The giant gorilla dogs from next door break through our fence (again)
and nearly devour our own very vicious dog.
I mean can't you just see that "I'm going to eat you" look in her eyes?
Ya, me neither.
But something about her makes those nasty pit bulls next door go wild.
That night was a bit intense as Dave fought off the beasts with a stick
while trying to rescue chubby little Mona.
Our very own Damsel in Distress.
Week 1: Day 2
Brooklyn is taking a shower.
She gets out of the shower and is being very obedient by quickly drying off and getting dressed.
Oh wait.
No.
That's not how it went.
Brooklyn was in the bathroom practicing some sort of cryptic ballet moves while wrapped in her towel.
Wet floor + cryptic ballet moves + counter edge + Brooklyn's eye =
4 stitches and a black eye
Not exactly how I had planned to spend my Family Home Evening night,
but what can you do?
Week 2:
On Halloween Night,
our little mouse takes a full blow to the face from a metal Halloween bucket.
"Oh, you're fine little girl - no more crying," I say.
Only to come out of the darkness
and see a cut that is all matchy-matchy with Brooklyn's.
Whoops.
(I guess that would explain all the tears...)
Thank goodness hers wasn't large enough to need stitches.
Week 3:
Jack - who is always a very calm child,
one who would certainly never do anything dangerous
decides to do something very boring and ordinary
like bend over and pick up a book.
Which just happens to be next to a small end table with very sharp edges.
Cue screaming and blood.
Oh no you didn't.
He walked in just as we were about to have dinner.
Dave and I most definitely gave each other "the" look.
The one that says,
"Whose kids are these?"
Normally I don't get squeamish at all with these types of things (good thing, huh?)
but this one got to me a little bit.
So proceed with caution.
Gross.
That is a pretty wicked awesome line of bloody tears across his cheek.
This one took some "skin un-rolling" (barf) and 5 stitches.
Which brings our 2 week stitch total to 9.
In an effort to preserve our only remaining scar-free kid,
we are implementing a fool-proof safety program.
Original image from http://www.coloribus.com/adsarchive/tv-commercials/suzuki-kizashi-bubble-wrap-suit-kizashi-vs-mercedes-14116955/
That should do the trick!
That should do the trick!
But I will tell him to use extreme caution while shaving those neck whiskers.
*No animals were seriously harmed in the making of these stories.
Only children.*
