Father's Day

Do you want to know what Father's Day pictures are supposed to look like?

But do you think I have more than one picture like this?

Of course not.

Obviously I wouldn't even be writing this post if I just had a bunch of mushy 

Father bonding pictures.

Let's talk about how Father's Day really went down.

We walked around the corner to this little field because it was one of those Sunday's.

You know the ones.

What??!!  It's only 3:28?

It feels like 11pm.

I said something like that at least 4 times.

I thought I would take some fun pictures of the kids playing with their Dad.

Well...I got one.

But I also got

Aubrey re-enacting a Baywatch scene.

Why is she in a swimming suit you ask?

I'm not really sure, but she prefers to go commando 

so we thought this was an improvement.

Even if the swimming suit is a size 6-9 months.

Bradley trying to remove the dog poop that had just squished between his toes.

Jack snarling at Brooklyn because he never gets to hold the cat.

I can't imagine why since he had just chased the cat into the bushes...

 about 18 times.

Brooklyn finally recovering from crying for 30 minutes 

because Jack kept chasing her cat into the bushes.

And yes, that is a real cat.

Seriously the nicest, most docile cat I've ever met.

Good thing too.

Or she probably wouldn't have lasted around here.

Something about being mothered to death.

And here's our best attempt at a little group picture.

Plenty of personality.

I'm pretty sure Jack has his eye on the cat again.

Look at that devilish grin...

And then I snatched one of Aubrey

 right after Mona had slobbered all over her face.

She definitely reacts much differently than I would if I had just had that giant tongue all over my face.

I mean look at that thing!

Mona can practically lick her own eyeball!

Bleck!

We enjoyed getting out and getting some fresh air.

And I enjoyed having my little helpers 

helping me prepare dinner and dessert for Dave.

(Even though they are a little scary with the beaters...)

I am sure grateful for Dave.

Thanks to our children we share a very lively and wonderful life.

I picked a good one, folks!

Potty Training

Potty Training.

Something I find to be about as much fun as a poke in the eye.

Actually I'd way rather have a poke in the eye.

Like 50 of them.

I'm just no good at it.

I only have the stamina of about 30 minutes.

I basically just want to show them how to do it and then have them independently take care of it after that. 

That's not too much to ask, is it?

Well I've been in the trenches with the littlest one.

And it definitely hasn't been a 30 minute visit.

She was doing great (easiest one yet!)

but it seems that we are moving backwards lately.

It's been going something like this...

[Aubrey waddling in]

"Mama, I pooped!"  (with genuine enthusiasm)

"Where did you poop, Aubrey?"

(pointing to her adorable little buns)

"Ummmmm...in mine underwear."

Sigh.

"Aubrey........Where does poop go?"

"Ummmmm...in mine underwear?!"

Toilet, Aubrey. Toilet.

T.O.I.L.E.T.

My stamina has certainly waned, but seriously, 

I absolutely refuse to follow the child around all day waiting for the face.  

Why must this be part of the parenting deal?

I'm sure there is some lesson in perseverance or patience that I am supposed to be learning here,

but all I am finding is that I stare longingly at the diapers when I pass them in Target.

Anyone else out there thinking that it was a whole lot easier to change a few diapers everyday??

Meanest Mom

The Meanest Mom Ever.
Isn't that a title that all of us Mother's secretly strive for?
We stay up at night plotting ways to torture our children.
I know I definitely do.
You know what else I do?
I make sure that there is a lunch packed for my kids everyday.
Go me.
Well last week Jack walked off and forgot his head lunch.
I saw it sitting there on the table shortly after he left for school.
Well naturally our school system won't let him starve when he forgets his lunch.
So he came home with a $2 bill for the hot lunch he ate that day.
Right next to it was a big smile on his face telling me all about the pizza and milk and cookie.
Not so fast, Mister.
I told him that since I had already paid for a lunch for him that he would have to earn the money to pay back the cafeteria for his hot lunch.
And do you know what it takes to earn 2 bucks around here?
We really don't pay well.
I marched him to the backyard, threw a few bags of mulch in the wheel barrow
and helped his little twig-let arms push that thing all over the yard.
Then he had to dump the bags and spread the mulch around the perimeter of our backyard.
(Which looks lovely, by the way)

He may or may not have been doing a bit of grumbling.
Which I cheerfully (and maybe a little bit sarcastically) responded with something about how delicious that lunch was.
Which really wasn't nice.
In the end he told me that I was THE Meanest Mom ever
because no other kids have to work for their lunch.
All my planning and hard work has paid off!
Do you think he has forgotten his lunch since?
Nope!
But Brooklyn has.
Her torture had something to do with weeds and dog poop.