3 hours of Christmas shopping with 3 small children

2 Christmas gifts: $50

Un-planned purchases (1 bag of gummi worms and 3 frosty's): $5.10

Standing in a long line with 3 bored and tired children: priceless

Someone please remind me not to do that again.

Anyone want to come over for dinner?

picture from here

I think I am starting to develop a complex. 

Here is a sampling of Jack's every prayer.

"Please bless our food that it will be safe and healthy

for our bodies."  

What exactly is he saying about my cooking?

Nevermind.  I'd rather not know.

But, consider this a fair warning if you are ever invited over for dinner.

You could be risking your life...

Problems

I think there are a few things wrong with the world.  Surprise, Surprise.  I am not talking about the political climate, or the climate in general.  I am talking about the modern child and parent.  I think there are some serious problems going on here.  Let me explain a few of my observations and you tell me what you think.

I volunteer in Brooklyn's classroom every Monday.  During this time spent with 20 five year olds, I have noticed a few things that I find slightly concerning.
*  Does anyone else think that acryllic nails on a 5 year old is going a little far?
*  How about a 5 year old walking into the classroom sipping away on her own Starbuck's cup?  (I realize that it was likely hot chocolate, but still.)
*  Or the boy who told the class that he smoked a cigarette?
*  Oh, how about a 5 year old telling everyone that she saw the Jonas Brothers in concert?
*  And how the Jonas Brother's are really rich.
*  And then recited many of their songs to me while she was doing her art project.
*  And how she hoped her mom remembered to bring her iPod when she picked her up.

Next thing I know, they'll be coming in with cell phones and highlights.

Is my child really that odd because she loves hopscotch and My Little Pony? ...just wondering... 

Budget Christmas Gifts

Due to budget cuts we have decided to do Christmas for our kids for under $1 each.  The best part is that these gifts will surely bring pure joy to their hearts.

Brooklyn

A roll of tape. 

I mean, look what kind of magic she unleashed in the boy's room.  I'd really like her to help me decorate the rest of the house.  Such talent.  Maybe I'll get her a 2-pack.

Jack

A roll of toilet paper to unroll without getting into trouble

I wonder if he'll still enjoy it if he doesn't get to watch the veins pop out in my neck?

Bradley

A couple of batteries. 

It must stink to be the 3rd child.  All the batteries in the cool toys have long since died.  He'd really be shocked to discover that nearly all of our toys actually light up, sing, or just make noise in general. 

How exciting.

New Skills

There are some new skills emerging at my house.

Brooklyn (and apparently Bradley) is now slaving away in an attempt to help her poor mother.  At 5 years old, she's old enough to load the dishwasher, right?

She is also learning to read - I am amazed at how quickly she is picking it up.

Bradley has learned the art of irritating his brother and sister by turning off the TV right in the middle of Frosty the Snowman.

He has also decided that it is absolutely unacceptable that I feed him.  He MUST feed himself.

Oh, and just as I thought I would get out of having a climber, I have repeatedly found him sitting in the middle of the kitchen table.

Jack has a defined perimeter of what is strictly his playing area.  Bradley, however, doesn't seem to understand why he can't squinch in and play.  As a result, Jack has discovered many new and highly effective ways to remove Bradley from that perimeter.

He also has decided that I have no taste in clothes (which is likely correct) so he must pick out his own.  My only problem is that he has no concept of WINTER or tags.  Shorts and his shirt on backwards. Nice.

Jack has also discovered the magic of scissors.  In the name of fine motor skills development...I will endure.  Maybe I should teach him how to use a broom...

For the record, I have not acquired any new skills of my own.  Unless of course, you count planning ways to have the kids do more of my housework or skillfully not making dinner on a Saturday night so that Dave will have to pick up Little Ceasars.

Come to think of it, I think those should definitely count.  I think I will start developing a few more.  Any ideas?

Happy Anniversary...to me

So, for whatever reason I couldn't find my digital pictures from our wedding day, and my scanner is possessed, so this is the best I could find.  It's a little far away and my dress is taking over the world, but hey, you get what you get.

In short, here's my summary.

7 years.

3 states.

3 kids.

1 house. 

2 dogs.

1 minivan.

I think all I am missing is a partridge in a pear tree.

Could life get any better?

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving

from our Turkeys

(and Pilgrims) to yours!

We are on our way to Idaho to spend the weekend with the fam.

Pray that we don't freeze.

And pray that I return with all 3 children.  I'll be flying home with all of them...by myself.

I hope all of you have a wonderful Thanksgiving and that you take the time to count your blessings.

Pink Curlers

I have 4 or 5 posts started, but not finished.  Why do I do that?  Whatever.
But for tonight, I thought I would share a little funny.
Just for fun I put curlers in Brooklyn's hair tonight.  The pink spongy ones. 
The boys were running around like boys do and I was listening to Brooklyn practice reading while I put in her curlers.  During the curler process Bradley kept looking at Brooklyn and cracking up.  Then he'd walk over, poke the curler and just laugh.  Like the super awesome belly jiggling baby laugh.  Is there a better sound in this world? 

I guess there is something funny about a bunch of pink fluffies in your hair. 

Alien Abduction

It seems that we've been invaded.

I am guessing that some alien ship landed on my roof a couple of weeks ago, climbed into Jack's room, stole Jack, and replaced him with a new version.

I like it.

About a month ago I was feeling at the end of my rope with my 2nd born.  He's as cute as can be, but his behavior was making me nutty.  Potty training nightmares, not listening, purposely making bad choices just for the sake of making them, STUBBORNESS etc.  Not fun.  So, I decided that things couldn't continue like this.  I mean, I know that he is 3, and it kind of comes with the territory, but something had to change.  I consulted a few parenting books, focused all my energies, physical and psychological and changed my approach with the boy.

Amazingly, it worked almost immediately....either that or the whole alien thing is true...

I am so proud of him - he actually WANTS to be agreeable, he's proud of himself for making good choices, and isn't nearly as stubborn as before.  Ahhh...sweet relief.  Hopefully this isn't just a phase - that would be a cruel, cruel joke.

Naughty or nice - this boy brings lots of laughs and fun to our family...but it sure is nice when he's nice.  :)

(P.S.  Just in case Jack reads this as an adult or any of you are inclined to think that he is perfect 100% of the time, think again...)

P.S.S.  Does anyone know where the spellchecker is on this new version?  I am mortified to think of the typos I have published...

Is there a baby in the house?

I am seriously starting to wonder where time goes...

I am thinking that each child just grows up quicker - like someone hits the FF button after each kid.  I mean look at him - does he look like a baby standing up on that step stool?  Nope, he sure doesn't.  He looks more like a small child who thinks he can do anything his siblings can do, like brush his teeth, comb his hair, splash water everywhere, make toothpaste drawings on the mirror, unroll the toilet paper, and drop EVERYTHING into the toilet.

He's cute.

Or at least he was before he proceeded to empty all of the surrounding drawers into the sink.

Which Jack filled with water.

I sure can't wait until he gets even taller.

World Peace

Someday I think my daughter should be a world leader.  She has it all figured out.  Tonight I listened as she said her night time prayer and she said,

"Please bless all the people who kill other people to listen to their Mom's."


That should take care of it. 

This is not for the eyes of my friend Lindsey - the Dietician

I don't know about anyone else, but my kids don't like to eat anything.  Particularly Brooklyn.  I slave away making a fabulous dinner (or at least fabulous according to my standards) and the minute I set it on the table she says, "I don't like that."  Almost without fail.  We then go through the infamous dialogue...
Brooklyn:  "I don't like that."
Me:  You haven't even tried it yet.
Brooklyn:  But I don't like it.
Me:  At least try it
Brooklyn:  But I won't like it
Me:  You won't know until you taste it...

I think you are familiar with this routine as I would venture to say that all who are reading this have been on one end or the other of this conversation.
Well, as many desperate mothers do, I evaluated my list of options:
*  bribery
*  force
*  negotiation
*  threats
OR my favorite choice:
*  disguise

How do you make yucky chicken enchiladas look and taste irresistable?


SPRINKLES, of course

I mean, tell me you don't want to eat that!  ^

On second thought - don't tell me because don't you think I hear enough of that already?

Look at this girl - and let me give you a direct quote, "Mom, I LOVE this dinner."

So, as a result, I have decided to reformulate my food storage to include at least a year's supply of sprinkles.

Dear friend

Dear WinCo Shopper,

Thank you for being understanding today when I accidentally ran over Jack's toe (the one I had told him to move out of the way at least 80 times) with the grocery cart. I appreciate you drawing added attention to me by pointing, shaking your head and telling anyone who passed by that "SHE ran over his foot, that poor boy." I mean, Jack's screaming wasn't quite attracting enough attention or embarrassment. And I know that you really wanted me to buy that bag of frozen peas to use as an ice pack in fear that Jack's toe might swell and subsequently fall off, and I apologize that I didn't follow your advice. Instead I told you that I was leaving and that he was fine, to which you expressed your distaste in my judgement. But, you will be happy to know that due to his injury we had to amputate Jack's entire foot. Also, if you'll meet me at Target tomorrow morning you can watch me run over one of my other children. Since I do that kind of thing on purpose. Oh, and I hope you had a lovely shopping experience because I sure did.

P.S. Wait until you see me in one of these!

Going private

For reasons which I will not bore you with, I have decided to make my blog private. Email or comment for an invite. I will be making the switch around the 10th. :)

E is for Elephant

This is for you Sharlene!

My friend Sharlene and I are swapping kids once a week for a little preschool time. For my week I chose the letter E and so I turned these kids into elephants. They were so funny! They both kept running around trying to make elephant noises. I couldn't get this little costume off of Jack all day. I went to pick Brooklyn up from school and Jack was strutting around showing off his sweet mask. He certainly got the attention he was looking for, although I don't think he planned on the laughing, pointing and unwanted conversation with strange women.



I told him to leave it at home.



But he wouldn't listen.

Gettysburg Jog-A-Thon

Every year (at least I think it's every year, I only have a Kindergartner) the school puts on a Jog-A-Thon. Basically, the children have to coax unsuspecting family members and friends to pledge a certain amount of money for every lap they run. The kindergartners are scheduled to run for 10 minutes. That's kind of a long time for one with such small legs...and who has to do it in 3 zillion degree weather. Anyway, thinking that this little event was going to be held at an actual track (meaning each lap is 1/4 mile) I generously pledged $5/lap thinking that she surely wouldn't make it around more than twice. To my surprise however, it was held out in the grass behind the school where they had made a large circle of cones for the kids to run around. "Hmmm," I said to Dave as we walked up to watch her run, "we may have to rethink our pledge."

Sure enough, our little babe ran the entire time - she was awesome! She ended up with 10 Popsicle sticks (one for each lap...which would make it 50 big ones from me...$$$...I'm rethinking my generosity).

Overall though, the event was a big success and was worth at least $10 just to watch it - those kids were hilarious...the crying kid, the corner cutting kid, the tripping kid, the super heavy breathing kid, the "I only got 2 sticks because I walked the whole way" kid, the "I'm hot" kid, seriously, hours of entertainment right there.

Here are a few pics from her big day.

Look at that face - she was SOOOO excited for this. Although I think she may have been disappointed. She mostly kept talking about putting a pie in the Principal's face - I'm not sure what the deal was there but it sure sounded fun to her!

RUN! Oh, I forgot to mention the super obnoxious Dad standing by me that kept telling his kid to run faster and pass the chubby kid in front of her. I believe I distinctly heard the phrase, "Come on, whip their tails!" (Seriously weird phrase if you ask me) Oh wait, that was Dave standing by me feeling the bubblings of competition.

Showing off all of her sticks. 10!!

Having a little H2O and secretly hoping that the big "pie in the face" moment had arrived.

And here's a short (very short) video for the grandma's...which by the way both pledged $10 a lap. Cha ching. I think I'm going to need a fair amount of white-out.

A little white lie

Let's take a vote.

Is it technically lying if I tell all the salespeople who call that Mrs. Bowen isn't home right now?

I mean, I don't know why I wouldn't want to talk to them. Afterall, they are all so very generous. 3 night stays, $20 gas cards, shopping sprees...all without any money required from me. How nice.

But really, don't you think 5 or 6 of these calls a day is a little excessive? Shouldn't they spread the"wealth?"

Brooklyn the photographer

Lately Brooklyn has been secretly finding my camera and sneaking off to take pictures. Sometimes I see her in action (like when she takes pictures of me) and sometimes I don't know it until I am going through pictures later seeing endless photos of her toes.

If she isn't taking pictures of her cute little piggies (which is rare - I seriously just deleted about 20 pictures of her feet) then she wanders around taking pictures of random items like the phone, my keys, or her dolls.

I was starting to get a little agitated about this behavior until I found a use for it. Not only is she a skilled foot photographer, she is also very good at capturing mischief.

BUSTED! These boys were totally raiding the left over birthday cake while I was changing the baby.

Now if she could only photograph me putting things in that "special place" of which I never remember the location later.

Here are a few of her other masterpieces:

Exhibit A: Her darling baby brother

Exhibit B: An action shot of her partially insane mother attempting to recapture possession of the camera.

Exhibit C: Her jolly baby brother playing with his windmill which was immediately snatched from him by her "other" brother (see exhibit D).

Exhibit D: Jack on the throne...special.

Exhibit E: A self portrait.

(Actually, the more I analyze this picture the more frightening it becomes. Doesn't it look like that head doesn't belong on that weird small neck? It looks like some horrible photoshop job of a large child's face on and old woman's body. Weird.)

It's a shame that she doesn't have any awesome blackmail pictures of anyone...like her father.

P.S. Happy Birthday Oscar Allan Bennett - and Congratulations Chalee' and Zack!

LOOK who's walking now

It's official - little Bradley man is a walker. He starting standing alone in the middle of the room at about 10 months old, but would not walk until shortly after 13 months (although, truth be told, I wasn't exactly pushing him...crawling babies are a whole lot easier to keep track of)
Here he is, officially walking at 13 months, 1 week.

And yes, that's a Barbie car he's playing with.

The switch

I just had one of those moments. You know, those moments when you realize that you are becoming your parents. Growing up my dad was obsessive about us turning off the light when we left the room. It was terribly irritating to him when we would leave lights on. But yet, I repeatedly did it - not really to annoy him, but because it felt so unnecessary - I mean really, I am just running downstairs - I'll be back in there in just a few minutes.

I really wondered why it bothered him so much.

Well...through some genetic power beyond my control, I have inherited the "I can't stand lights being left on" disease - if that's what you call it? I mean, it must be something like that because throughout the day I find myself repeatedly walking through the house turning off lights while shaking my head and wondering to myself, "What is so hard about turning off the switch?"

We were leaving for a picnic and I ran back in to grab the camera and what did I find? Yes, it seems that we must use EVERY light in the house at the same time - and then leave them all on. How disturbing - the thought of my precious $'s being sucked away by unnecessary lights.

It could be that this obsession is really just harbored guilt for all of the lights I left on in my childhood...I probably owe my parents hundreds of dollars. I could send them a check, but I am thinking they would enjoy something else more.

Ok Dad...I admit it...you were right. There, I said it.

Charmer

I was grocery shopping the other day with Dave and the kids. When we all go we require 2 carts. Yes, we are quite the show. I was pushing a cart with Jack sitting in the seat. As I was comparing brands of BBQ sauce I look over at Jack to see and hear this:


"Mom, I like your style!"

This boy absolutely cracks me up. Where did he get that?

Labor Day at Dinkey Creek

There are a few of the "finer things" in life that we have withheld from our children. One of those has been camping. It's sad, but our children have never been. What kind of parents are we? Well, we no longer have to worry about child neglect because we took the long weekend and travelled to the mountains for some camping at Dinky Creek.

Here are the kids at their first campfire...right after they broke the tent pole...which made us super happy

And what would camping be without SMORES??

Here we are taking a hike to the creek.

The kids playing in the creek.

Brooklyn, Jack, and Grammy demonstrating a highly effective sock drying method.

And what did Bradley do the whole time?

Need a closer look?



*Note to self* Do NOT take a crawling baby camping...Do you think he will ever come clean?

I think everyone had a great time! Thanks to Grammy and Gramps for coming to join us!

I'll spare the pictures of the barf all over Jack's church clothes...that was super exciting...I'm sure glad that I blessed the boy with the joy of motion sickness...

I'll also spare the picture of Dave and I on/in our deflating air mattress. Just picture us as a hot dog in a bun...super comfy. Did I mention that I am NOT a snuggly sleeper?

I do wish I had the picture of Jack during a beautiful teaching moment. He kept kicking up dust which was really enjoyable for the rest of us. After millions of requests to stop kicking the dirt around he, while sitting in his little camping chair, kicked a large amount of dirt right into his own face. I must say that it was pretty funny. I think the dirt was caked on there about 4 inches thick. He didn't have as much trouble with the dirt after that...

Does anyone want to see the pile of laundry I have after this activity? I don't think that campfire smell will ever leave.

I think we'll do this again...next year. :)

A story...

that requires no words







Don't mess.

Happy Wednesday. :)