I am selling a 2006 blonde haired, blue eyed, 35 pound boy.
Features include:
* mostly potty trained
* listens some of the time
* capable of being extremely charming
* comes with clothes, shoes and a 1 month supply of food
* has the most contagious laugh
* only sits on his little brother when it's absolutely necessary
* can be entertained for hours with just one bucket of cars, trains, and train track pieces (included.)
He is a complete package of mischief, fun, love, stubborness, humor, energy, "spice," and sweetness. There is a small possibility that the result of his presence could have you sighing (or however you display your frustration) one moment, laughing the next, shaking your head with hands on hips the next, and then wanting to squeeze him (in love of course) the next. He will certainly add a dash of flavor to anyone's life.
We'll start the bidding at $500.
These fees are to cover the sanity I lost while trying to survive the period of time from him turning 2 until he was about 3 1/2.
Why would I sell such a fine fellow, you ask?
In the name of full disclosure I must include that the advertised boy is guilty of doing this:
Yes, that would be a permanent marker + my couch
oh mercy
Make me an offer
On second thought, I think I'll keep him for now.
As it turns out, it was me who left that marker within reach.
And truthfully, this little "moment" was very out of character for the boy
Lucky for all of us, a little Folex took it right out.
And of course, life would be considerably more dull without this crazy kid.
And who wants dull when you can have this much excitement?
2 comments:
Oh dear...does that mean that I have to wait a year and a half until Linus turns 3.5 before I get a refund on my sanity?
...how about I trade you, straight up...Jack for Linus. :-) Well, I guess you have another almost two year old to deal with until then, so I'll throw in a box of diapers to sweeten the deal. :-)
PS- I once hid all the markers in the house for fear that Chloe, my angel little girl, would use them against something precious. She instead found a piece of a BLACK CRAYON that fell on the floor that I missed (she must have had a radar or something, I don't know how she found it and how she found it at exactly the wrong time when I wasn't paying attention) and scribbled on my IVORY WHITE baby grand piano. Keys, lid, music, everything. Unfortunately the paint is 60-70 years old and so I could either scrub the paint off or leave some of the crayon on. I opted to leave the crayon, and you can only see it now when I point it out. But still. She should have to pay for the emotional damage done too!! :-)
OH NO! I am so sorry! I can see me getting out of controll mad at that one. I am so sorry!
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